Understanding Trauma & Barriers to Employment
Employment has always been a massive hurdle for me, it wouldn't be until I started my own business that I began to understand there were deeper issues at play.
My business, as well as therapy, helped me understand that my struggle with conventional employment was one the was rooted in trauma. For years I'd tried to advance my life and career, and it didn't matter how hard I tried, or how much I wanted it, I couldn't overcome the mental health challenges it presented.
I walked away from so many opportunities, simply because it felt like I couldn't cope. It always felt like I was fighting myself just to be able to make the first steps when starting a new position or role. The mental turmoil this would bring was always so unbearable. And, unbeknownst to me at the time, this was a trauma response. It didn't matter how much I wanted to advance myself, or my career, my central nervous system wasn't going to play ball.
Why? My experiences, and past trauma, had sent the precedent that those that have authority over me were dangerous; in addition, change, new environments, routines and people I didn't know, were also as equally dangerous. A potent combination, and a perfect storm when it comes to employment.
I'd never connected the dots before. I didn't know why it was so much harder for me. Instead, I'd use the shame from walking away from so many opportunities as another reason to beat myself up. I could see others, my friends and peers, advancing their lives and careers. The frustration that my own comparisons with others would bring was another rod for my own back.
I believe that this is not only an important lesson for myself, but for others too, especially when understanding the unique challenges people have when recovering from trauma. I understand that conventional employment doesn't, and may never, work for me, like two pieces in a puzzle that don't connect. And that's ok.
The main takeaways, and the reasons why I'm sharing this, is for understanding. Firstly, if you've experienced the same hurdles and haven't understood why, it might be trauma related.
Secondly, and more broadly, I think we all need to come to terms with the fact that conventional employment doesn't work for everyone. There's a myriad of reasons for why it doesn't work for some of us, and that's ok.
Finally, and this is something that would've helped me much sooner, is establishing easier pathways for alternatives to conventional employment. I'm incredibly lucky to have found something that works for me, many others don't have that fortune. Not only are they dealing with the same struggles as I once did, there's also a social and economic stigma around not being able to work or not having a job.
At the heart of it all, employment shouldn't be the default for success, or worth.